There are only 2 reasons:

1: my period is coming either tonight or tmr.

2: its my limit and my mother hit it right on the bulleye.

Period.

Normally when my period is coming in a few hours time, i will cry. like really cry. i know it seems weird, but that 's how my body works. I will be super vulnerable and all, crying over some simple things that i would normally don't care about. So, if my period comes tonight or tmr, everything is justified.Then I'll know why i'm crying.

Yes, i dont know why i have been crying. i really dont know is it just mood swings, or is it because i'm utterly pissed until i cry. it happens.

If its because of 1:, then ig ot nothing to say.

If its because of 2:, crap. shit. FUCK.

my mother has been getting on my nerves.

I take into account how she is frigging menopause-ing now and i haven't been screaming or talking back like i will normally do. Yesterday, she called me when i was otw home, to ask if i want to go to the stupid river hongbao nonsense. I said NO and she say: okay, then you come back for dinner. We going there ourselves. Then after awhile, my father call and ask me to alight at the next bus stop, his picking me from there. i was like, what? i thought i not going? Then nevermind, i rushed to press the bell and alight. Fine. when up the car, when i said, i thought i dont want to go? My father repply: you dont want to go ah? *which means he DOES NOT know i dont want to go. which means my mother didn't tell him i dont want to go. Then my mother added: nevermind, just go. already in the car. FUCK. i already said i didn't want to go because i'm fucking tired after the day at musuem and i haven't done RJ and all. Then nevermind. i kept quirt and fell asleep. My stupid brother keep disturbing me in my sleep, throwing things at me, when i shouted at him to go away, my mother shout at me, What's wrong with you?! Like that. FUCK. try having someone disturb your sleep like that. esp when you're super sleepy! After that the whole day she show me her pissed off face. ignoring me and all. FUCK.

Then today, just now.

When i just came back, she told me to drink that soup, some tonic soup. I said later then i drink. now very tired. Then she stare at me, and raise her voice, say i scoop for you okay? As if i'm lazy to scoop and wants hers to scoop for me. So i went to scoop myself. While i was drinking the soup, she ask why i never take the dishes. So i told her, i not hungry yet so i eating rice later. i drinking the soup now only. Then she stare at me. So fine. i went to scoop my rice. When i went there, she took the plate from my hands and say: go. bring did down for KFC. you want to eat KFC you go. bring him down. So i said, i dont want KFC. i want to eat rice. Then she still continue with her go, go down for KFC.

After that, she shouted at me, okay, i bring him down and tabao for you okay?! i was like, FUCK. i said i dont want KFC right??!

I just kept quiet throughout. When i went back to drink that soup infront of the tv, she came and off it. without saying anything. At that time, i really wanted to shout WTF. i'm watching tv right? but i still kept silent.

After she left the house with my brother, started crying. I know she hate to see people crying since young, so i cried only after she left. After awhile, my father came back and saw me crying. He ask why and i said that it was my problem. -.- WTF. i take all the blame to myself. I know that if my father ask my mother about it, she will blow up at me again. So nevermind. i continued crying in my room. Throughout the time when we were eating at the dinner table after she came back, she kept staring at me. FUCK. i just kept silent.

the story continues. she's now complaining to my father in their room. FUCK IT.

the story goes on a long way, whatever. not going to continue. I boil when i think about it.

My father just came and and shout at me. and then she come in and want to slap. i should really go commit suicide now.

FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.FUCK YOU.

KNNCCB.KNNCCB.KNNCCB.KNNCCB.KNNCCB.KNNCCB.KNNCCB.KNNCCB.KNNCCB.

i'M SUPER VIOLENT TODAY. STAY AWAY FROM ME.